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Parenting Advice and Tips :: Ask a Child Psychologist
www.askachildpsychologist.com/
Need expert parenting advice? Parenting tips? Answers to parenting problems or parenting questions? Ask a child psychologist your questions now
   
Child Psychologist

Keywords: Psychologist | Child | Parents | Schools | Disclipline | Behaviour

Many parents shudder at the idea of showing their child to a child psychologist. What! My child is not crazy! Why does he need to see a psychologist? And then the old school of thought so prevalent in our society. Our parents, grandparents and great grandparents never saw psychologists, and they were fine, weren't they? This is just a silly fad!

Most people, by they time they become parents, forget what it was like to be a child. When you are a child, you often get taken for granted. Your opinions are discarded, and your wishes don't count. How often have you seen children crying because their parents took them shopping or to run some errands and then ignore the child's pleas to go back home? How often do you shut a child up by saying the words "Because I said so!" without providing a reasonable explanation? While all this certainly does not constitute bad parenting, it may provide insights into your child's behaviour. Childhood is a complicated time. A child's demands are high, and these demands tend to get overlooked often. Your child has to go 'urgently' to a friend's party, while you take your time coming home, wrapping up the present and dropping him off, with the result that your child starts crying and you laugh off your child's tears saying "Don't be silly, we will be there in some time." After all, in your mind, it is not important, but in your child's mind, this party was going to be the best party of her life, and it was the most important event ever for your child.

These are the years when your child is developing his personality, and the way you bring him up plays a crucial part in his personality development.


Discipline

Most parents believe that all you really need to do is discipline your children and at the same time, show them that you love them, and that should be more than enough. However, it isn't. Your child may grow up to be polite, well mannered and intelligent, but he may still have some self-esteem issues. You will find that such a child only truly builds his personality once he leaves home to study in another city or country. If you are a strict disciplinarian, make it a point to be equally disciplined yourself when it comes to coping with your child's reasonable demands. If you make it a point to ensure your child finishes his homework before going to that party, also make it a point to be there on time to drop him off and pick him up.

There may be certain things you say and do as a well meaning parent, which causes your child to feel bad about himself through no fault of your own. 8 year old Aryan would flare up everytime his parents asked him to clean up his room, because this feeing was compounded with a feeling of guilt that he hadn't yet cleaned it up, a feeling of inadequacy for being unable to clean it up, and a feeling of anger directed towards the parents, who just didn't understand that he wanted to clean it up and has cleaned up a part of it, but the just do not appreciate that. You as a parent are totally justified in your demands, but your child is going through a range of emotions which he cannot discuss with you or with his friends, as not many young children discuss their parental problems with their friends. The best person to discuss this with would be a child psychologist. The psychologist serves as a medium between you and your child, and will be able to accurately convey your child's feelings to you, and you would be able to modify your behavior accordingly. In addition, children feel important when they are being listened to, and when their feelings and wants are been taken into consideration. Often a parent may be too busy or otherwise occupied to listen to their child, and while they may not realise it, their child may feel extremely hurt by what they perceive as a snub. Yes, they will forgive you and go on to play elsewhere, but when it happens a second, third and fourth time, it will certainly show up in their personality development. A child psychologist will be able to bring this to your attention.
How often should your child see a psychologist is entirely upto you, but a child should see one often enough, in order to develop a rapport. You could perhaps arrange for your child to visit the school psychologist once a week or once in two weeks, especially if you feel your child displays feelings of anger and aggression, is extremely shy or is weak in his studies. Do not under any circumstances convey to your child that it is a big deal to be seeing a psychologist. It is not, and many parents whose children regularly visit psychologists swear by them. According to Nita Sharma, whose both children see a psychologist once in two weeks, "Every child should see a psychologist. I don't believe that something should be 'wrong' with your child."


Back to Previous Page | More on Child Development Index

Recent comments on This
Name: Chetan,
Country: India
Hi, I think the critical first step is to realize that there can be many many issues and influences which can mentally disturb or impact a child, and obviously each of these is not "madness". In fact that is the difference between psychology and psychiatry - an important difference to understand. I think the article on the India psychology blog at http://enricheducation.com /blog/articles/blog.html explains the difference very well. cheers.

Name: Meghna.Bhagwati ,
Country: India
Hi this is Meghna Bhagwati child Consultant Counsellor. I have started my own Blog the Address of my Blog is - http://jaipurchildcounse llor.blogspot.com anyone wants to connect me or become a follower can see my Blog. And can contact me. Thanks

Name: Meghna Bhagwati,
Country: India
Dear Viewers, this is Meghna Bhagwati(Child Counsellor), wanted inform that the mail id has been changed to mb_3rdeyewisdom@yahoo.in So plese me on this new mail address.

Name: Meghna,
Country: India
Dear Dees, You can contact Dr. Meghna Bhagwati. She is a Counsellor as well as Child Pstchologist in jaipur. She is really good and gentle Psychologist. She deals with every issues of child and helps in Counselling the Parents as well.Hope it will help you.You can Mail or Post your any type of Querry or Problems regarding your child she'll help you.She can be contacted at meghnabhagwati@yahoo.com.

Name: meghna,
Country: India
hi

Name: Mina Dilip,
Country: India
A very well-written article, indeed! As a practicing child psychologist, I have encountered this attitude among many parents. I fervently hope that this article reaches far and wide so as to change this kind of restrictive thinking among parents and that more and more children can reap the benefits of meeting a child psychologist.

Name: Alok Kumar,
Country: India
I also contacted Dr. Dherendra Kumar for my son in Noida. He is gentle and caring. We benefited a lot from his work.

Name: Alok.Kumar ,
Country: India
Dear Dees, As you want a teen psychologist. You can contact Dr. Dherandra kumar, he is a Clinical and Child psychologist in Delhi. From my personal experience, as i consulted him for my children, he is really a good child psychologist. He deals with teen issues, also. Hope it will help you. He can be contacted at dr@psyindia.com

Name: Sumit,
Country: India
hi jatinder/alka - Dr. Geetanjali Kalia (child psychologist) in Ludhiana can be reached at geetanjliz@gma il.com.

Name: Sangita.Dagia ,
Country: India
Hi, I am Clinical Psychologist based in ahmedabad, Besides consulting, associated with schools and infertility centre. For any guidance, do let me know Preferably thru mail

Name: Sangita.Dagia ,
Country: India
Hi, I am Clinical Psychologist based in ahmedabad, Besides consulting, associated with schools and infertility centre. For any guidance, do let me know Preferably thru mail

Name: lakshmi,
Country: india
maybe u could sdd few experiences of childrens meeting with their psychologist

Name: tilashia,
Country: usa
i hate this article because i couldn't even read it so i don't know what article yall talkin bout. anyway to start off with,i'm doing a report on 3 careers that we are interested in. so i decided to look up more about a child's psychologist. well there wasn't any information on it that i could find so now i don't really know what a child psychologist does. that all folks

Name: Hemal Gandhi,
Country: india
great insight into why a parent must see a psychologist wen need persists,mention of a few psychologists name n numbers would help the estranged parents

Name: Amina,
Country: india
i think that's an wonderful article.

Name: Reshma,
Country: india
it is very good article.

Name: ann,
Country: india
opened my eyes to my tenager's felings and views. i ahd forgotten that while discipling we ahve to consider their point of views as well.

Name: Isantosh sharma,
Country: india
i want to meet child psycholigist

Name: Vaishu,
Country: malaysia
i like this article very much and i am very interesting about it because i want to be child pschologist.i know those childrens feelings because i'm one of them. but now i'm fine and i'm very confident that i will be a child psychologist one day although i'm student now.

Name: Manish Gupta,
Country: india
great article to be read. however i would appreciate if i can be known some good books on child psychology.

Name: claudia,
Country: usa
i think its a pretty article.

Name: michelle,
Country: usa
i need to find information on the job of a psychologist

Name: Jamie,
Country: usa
i think this is a great article, but i actually have a question.... do you think that children attend a psychologist, that there parents should also see one as well? if you could give me your input or if you know of any sites i could find information on that topic it would be very helpful thank you very much!!!!

Name: Ruth,
Country: usa
i am disappointed in my search for a child psychologist. i have found a lot of articles supporting why my child should see a psychologist (and his school has recommended he see one), but i can't find any sites that support finding a child psychologist.

Name: seema,
Country: india
can u pl let me know a good child psychologist in jaipur,india

 

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